The Doubting TwinExploring Women and Confidence
“La Dame de la Nuit” by Pierpaolo Ferrara & Maurizio Cattelan
I’ve been talking with women of all ages and in all forms of work to find out about their confidence levels. If you are one of those women – thank you! You are doing great things and adding real value to the world.
Yet many of you have a strong inner voice that diminishes your achievements; that undercuts your confidence moment to moment, so you have to battle against it. I’ve come to know that voice as the Doubting Twin.
The Doubting Twin It is exceptionally powerful and remarkably tenacious:
‘What ever made you think you could do that?’ (a very common one)
‘Who would want to kiss that face?’ (from a beautiful, highly successful executive)
‘You’ll never get any decent shoes with feet that big’ (that one’s mine!)
The Doubting Twin knows just where your weak points are. She has a killer instinct that goes straight to the heart. And she is relentless – there is no end to her energy. Nothing stops her, because she is inside your own head. And no one but you can do anything about her.
I’m thinking that we need to:
- Understand what drives her – she will have started out gently, for very good reasons and when in balance, she is a real support
- Support each other in finding a new voice that can reassure and quieten her
- Be brave enough to own up to what we could do with our lives, if we let go of the constant nagging.
So I’m talking with as many women as I can to understand how the Doubting Twin works. Then I’ll use my experience to discover how we can move the Twin into a support role so we can become the shining stars we truly are.
If you are up for joining in – please drop me a line and we’ll find a time to meet or speak on the phone. If you have a group of friends / colleagues who are interested, I’d love to meet you as a group to share our experiences.
Then watch this space for The Doubting Twin book or an event near you!
Our discussion about the Doubting Twin was quite an epiphany for me. You really hit the nail on the head about the rules I think I have to follow. It is all making sense now!Thirty Something Mum of Two
With your great support, kind words and encouragement, somehow or somewhere inside my thinking has changed and I am already putting into practice new truths and building stronger, more open relationships.50 + Business Woman
I totally agree with your findings – I have a strong Doubting Twin that nags me on a regular basis. Since we spoke, I’ve accepted that she is part of me, so I hope she won’t have to shout so loud. I’m fascinated to find out what difference that makes. Thanks so much for your help in my explorations.Mid 40’s Business woman, wife and mother