Teresa is extremely bored in her job. With no challenge or inspiration, she goes from day to day on automatic pilot. She’d love to do something more interesting, but no one has offered. And she could never sell herself – she doesn’t have enough confidence for that.
- Why would anyone want to employ you?
- Who’s going to believe you can do that?
- Why turn your life upside down when it could all go very wrong?
The comments are powerful and compelling, so she potters along in the comfort zone, bored out of her skull and longing for someone to rescue her.
It turns out Teresa never had to fight for a job – life just delivered opportunities to her door. Of course, that made it unimportant – ‘if it comes easy, it doesn’t mean anything’. It never occurred to her that good things come to those who are worth it.
The fact that she is hard working, self disciplined, determined is ‘just the way I am’. She assumes her Doubting Twin is right when it says ‘why would anyone want to employ you – just take what’s offered.’ And life goes on – safe, predictable and incredibly boring.
The Doubting Twin has one job – to maintain the comfort zone. She doesn’t want problems, upset or challenge. She’s happier with the known, determined her ward won’t step out of line and scare her.
But that means something is always missing.
At heart, Teresa knows how brilliant she is; she knows the opportunities only appear because she’s really good at her job and she knows she could do so much more.
There are numerous women out there:
Keeping their heads down, doing great work, following the rules. They are brilliant at showing a good face to the world – no one would guess that the Doubting Twin is suffocating a vibrant, dynamic and exciting woman.
And that process costs us all. We lose out in so many ways:
- A good balance of men and women in the workforce, which has been proven to deliver better results.
- Relationships that shift out of balance because women don’t feel able to speak up.
- Half the population holding back on their energy and enthusiasm
- Ideas and different approaches that could bring change and improvement to our lives
- Depressed women and men who have settled for a half life.
This is why the Doubting Twin matters. Why we must find the way to befriend her and turn all that energy to something useful and enlivening.
Just imagine if Teresa moved out of her comfort zone into a challenging role that got her juices flowing? What if she was wiling to see just how good she is? And what if she found her spark and her drive?
It is possible to engage the Doubting Twin in change
We just need to accept she is there and get to know her. Watch this space for how to go about that.
The time is coming for us all to co-opt the Twin on our path to greater impact.
Watch out world. The Doubting Twin is turning!
Join me on Facebook. Tell me about your Doubting Twin and how you use her to best advantage – or not.
Let’s get together and make a change.